#Goals

I read somewhere that most New Year’s resolutions only last about two months. I also heard that resolutions to lose weight have a 95 percent fail rate.

Wow.

I was talking to some of my friends about this last night, and we made a commitment to set some goals for 2019. But how do you do that when the numbers say it’s going to be an epic fail?

Well, for starters, we’re church people. That helps because we’re looking at the future through the filter of the Bible. That’s a lot different than looking at the world without it.

Some people think the Bible is nothing but judgment, punishment, and death. But the Bible is a book of hope. The Bible is full of verses that tell us not to live in the past and to work toward a better future.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:18-19.

Experts who know a lot more about this stuff than I do have told me the best way to reach goals is to make them realistic. They say you need to make them specific, too.

So we’re giving ourselves a whole week to think about some solid goals for 2019 that are specific and realistic. Three goals for each of us:

1. A physical goal. This is a goal that relates to something you do. It might be sports, music, theater, bull riding (yes, one of my friends does that) or just dropping some pounds (remember to be specific and realistic!).

2. A spiritual goal. For this one, we’re thinking about what will help us connect with our higher power or give us more spiritual depth. It could be making a habit of saying a prayer when you wake up in the morning. It could be reading your Bible or memorizing verses. Or it might be some selfless act for others. (James 1:27)

3. A relationship goal. In this fast-paced world it can take some effort to put the brakes on life to work on a relationship. The rewards are always worth the pit stop. Decide to reconnect with an old friend, or block out one afternoon to spend time with a grandparent. Or how about saying “thank you” to someone who’s made an impact on your life?

One final note. The most important part of setting goals for the New Year is to let God have control. The Bible says he loves us and wants what is good for us. If we ask him to help us decide what goals to set, it’s all going to work out for good in the end, no matter what we’ve done or haven’t done by the end of the year.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. – Prov. 16:9

When we decide on our three goals, we’re going to write them down. Each of us will seal our goals in an envelope. The envelopes will be put away for a year. Then this time next year we’ll open them and see how we’ve done.

Those experts I mentioned – they also say that setting goals with a group is a great way to be successful. We don’t have to share our goals with each other, but we’ll hold each other accountable. We’ll check up on each other throughout the year to push us to make progress.

Want to join us? I think it’s going to be a great year!

Storm Damage

I was running a little ahead of schedule this morning and decided to step out on the front porch to enjoy the sound of the summer rain. It's so peaceful when it rains on our country road.

While I was taking a moment to pause and enjoy nature, something caught my eye. It's something I've seen just about every day for the past couple of years. This time, for the first time, I saw it as an important lesson.

It's a patch of green situated just in front of our woods. It's nowhere near as tall as the trees in back of it, but a lot taller than the well kept lawn that surrounds it.

Basically, it's a patch of really big weeds.

Fallen Trees and Fallen Lives

A couple of years ago a big storm swept through our neighborhood and took down one of our trees. Thankfully, no one was hurt and there was no damage to our home or our cars. And don't get me wrong - I'm glad about that. Really!

But the fact that the tree is far removed from our house gave us a lot less motivation to drag out the chainsaw, cut the tree up and haul it off. It wasn't hurting anything down there by the woods. It was just lying on the ground minding its own business.

So my husband was in no particular hurry to clean up the storm damage. He mowed around the tree all summer. And the next summer. And this summer, too.

No surprise then that the grass and weeds started to grow up around the fallen tree to a point where you can't even see it anymore. It's a great big bulge of natural nasty, and I wouldn't set foot anywhere inside of it because it looks like a great place for snakes!

So now we have a choice to make. We can continue to ignore it and let it remain an open invitation to snakes and an eyesore in our otherwise well kept yard. Or we can wade into that mess and clean it up.

I'd love to get it cleaned up. But it sure would have been a lot easier if we had done it as soon as the tree hit the ground and the weather cleared up.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

Weeds and Snakes of a Different Kind

Being a Christian doesn't guarantee that we'll never fall. We're human, and sometimes we make mistakes. Big ones. Earth shattering ones that change everything.

When we fall like a tree in a storm, we have a couple of choices. We can deal with our mistakes immediately, or we can ignore them. Hide them. Hope that no one sees them. Pretend they're not there. Work around them.

The problem is that the fall still happened, and the damage is still there.

The longer we try to ignore it, the harder it will be to contend with. Weeds will grow up around it. Weeds with names like Regret, Bitterness, Hurt - keeping God and those who love us most from reaching that part of our hearts. That part of our "yard."

Then the snakes move it. Snakes with names like Guilt and Self Condemnation. The poison they inject can be devastating to a believer.

Have you made a mistake? Did you fall?

Take care of the damage ASAP. Make things right. If you hurt someone, ask for forgiveness. Make things right. Repay debts. Most important of all - go to God. The Bible says He is faithful and just to forgive us.


There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. - Romans 8:1


If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9

"I'm glad." Looking back on a nearly empty nest.

Soon, there will be no children living in our home. Well...according to the laws of the land, that’s already the case. But as far as I’m concerned, that 18-year-old is still our baby till she gets her diploma.

Anyway, it seems like a good time to reflect. I don’t believe you should live in the past, and I don’t believe you should dwell on your regrets. Your youngest child’s senior year is already emotional, so I’m not going to “go there.” But I do think I’ll list some things I’m glad we did:

- I’m glad we built campfires in the back yard.

- I’m glad we flew kites in the front yard.

- I’m glad we took time to get away – from the day trips that led us through the mountains and into museums to the week-long vacations.

- I’m glad I let my kids get dirty.

- I’m glad I let the house stay messy sometimes in favor of time spent playing with dolls, reading books, watching movies, or packing up a picnic to take outside.

- I'm glad for fairy houses.

- I'm glad we kept fun stuff on the lower shelves.

- I'm glad we let them "help" in the kitchen.

- I'm glad I got out of the way once in a while to let them spend some time with their dad.

- I’m glad we kept the fridge littered with pictures, art work, and achievements.

- I’m glad I left the Christmas tree up longer than I should have.

- I’m glad we didn’t overdo the Santa thing.

- I’m glad we kept the focus on Jesus at Easter.

- I’m glad we kept them in church.

- I'm glad we hugged them.

- I'm glad we said, "I love you," and "I'm proud of you."

- I’m glad I went on all those field trips.

- I’m glad I helped out in their classrooms.

- I’m glad we “lived” at the library some days.

- I’m glad we fed the ducks.

- I’m glad we didn’t let them disrespect us.

- I’m glad we disciplined them when we had to.

- I’m glad we chose our battles carefully, and chose to let some things go.

- I’m glad we spent a little extra to let them do extracurricular activities.

- I’m glad we didn’t let extracurricular activities take over their lives.

- I’m glad we bought second hand clothes and bargain priced groceries.

- I’m glad we let them splurge when it counted.

- I’m glad we taught them to enjoy healthy foods.

- I’m glad we didn’t make them eat healthy foods all the time.

- I’m glad we took pictures, without taking too many.

- I’m glad our kids got to travel internationally.

- I’m glad we gave them opportunities to serve others.

- I’m glad we made their health and wellness a priority.

- I’m glad God was part of our lives outside of church.

- I’m glad that, for the most part, we were the same people at home that we were in public.

- I’m glad we didn’t take that Disney boycott thing too seriously.

- I’m glad they got to know extended family.

- I’m glad they got to spend quality time with their grandparents.

- I’m glad we opened our home to their friends.

- I’m glad we said no sometimes. I’m also glad we said yes.

- I’m glad we took them to Vacation Bible School.

- I’m glad we were vigilant about what they were allowed to watch on TV.

- I’m glad we watched public TV.

- I’m so, so, so glad for all the times we shut up and listened. I wish we had done even more of that.

- I’m glad we occasionally turned down invitations from adults so we could do things with our kids.

- I’m glad we were there. There for dance recitals, plays, concerts, soccer games, basketball, drill meets, presentations at school, church programs – all of it. Sometimes it was hard to do, and there were times when we couldn’t make it happen, but I will never regret the many moments spent watching from the wings, cheering from the balcony, or snapping pictures from the front row.

Time goes by so fast. There are so many things I wish we could have done with our kids, there are things I wish we had bought them, and there are places I meant to take them. It’s easy to feel sadness and regret when your nest is starting to empty out.

Looking back on the nest that's almost empty, I understand now that the most important things we do for our children are not the big things like expensive gifts or over-the-top excursions, but the little, every day things that let our kids know we love them consistently – in all seasons, through all phases, when life is perfect and when it isn’t, when our kids are perfect and when they aren’t. The little things I’m glad for today are the building blocks that have given my children a solid foundation to be the strong, self-confident, and loving people they are today.